It’s been a moment since I’ve popped on the blog to check in, but it’s simply because a lot has been going on in my personal world. If you follow me on Instagram, then you know that there was a major family announcement recently - WE ARE HAVING A BABY! I’m now 18 weeks along with baby #2, due July 28th… and it’s a girl! I have so many feelings about becoming a mom of two, and it just so happens that today’s Real Talk With Real Moms topic is all about the decision to go from one to two or more kids! So what better time and place to share? Be sure to read the other moms in the series’ takes too!
For us, the decision to have a second kid was easy - it was the timing that wasn’t, much like our decision to have the first. When we initially decided to start trying for Sailor, neither of us felt particularly “ready” but we reached a point when we realized we never WERE going to feel ready. We were 33, and after 11 years together, had gotten to have lots of time to ourselves. We’d traveled, poured our energy into our work and social lives, spent plenty of evenings alone, and lived on two coasts together. We loved our lives the way they were with just us and our two dogs, but we knew that down the line we would want to have a family. It was just time.
This time was surprisingly similar. Even though we are somewhat “seasoned” into parenthood, there was still a sense that we were happy with things the way they are and we’re nervous about taking on more responsibility. I mean, if there’s one thing we’ve learned in the past 3 years with Sailor, it’s that nothing can prepare you for the challenge of having a child. Many tears, long nights, early mornings, missed dates and friend hangouts, and countless breakdowns later, how exactly do we decide to do it all again? I’ve never been one to sugarcoat how hard it is, so the decision to double our kid count wasn’t exactly easy. But there was this feeling we both felt. A feeling that our family wasn’t quite complete and we were still wanting to take one more step. We both grew up in families of multiples (Ian has a brother and a sister and I have a sister), and we wanted the same for our family. I had always pictured myself with two kids, and that time to try for the second was just here.
There are a lot of things that terrify me, just like they did in round 1, but the beauty of this time is that I get to learn from the first and try to do it a little better. I can manage my expectations of what’s possible in a day, and seek help when I need it (which let’s face it, will be a LOT from day 1). Most of all, I will know that compassion towards myself as a mother is a daily practice, and the reward is far greater than the hardships. I’m still learning everyday, and I know I have so much more to experience in this role. I’m scared AF, but I’m ready at the same time. So let’s do this!